• The Chefs

Cheers to booze, a spiteful hatred for celebrity chefs and foraging


Hey to the people beneath me! - can you say that? or does it have to be “down under”, like I give a crap.

Before any more of you leave snide comments about me; like, “wow he must be drunk when he write this stuff…”HELL YES I AM”, after a 12 hour shift in a kitchen listening to some asshole who aint got a Michelin star, but one day thinks he will (yeah, that day will never happen, there’s more chance of bringing poor old Anthony Bourdain back from the dead) screaming orders at me, in a Sudo French accent, when really he’s from a trailer park in bum fuck Idaho.


Let’s face it fellow chefs and those poor misguided customers that read this. And bitch about the food that’s “normally brilliant in their favourite restaurant, only to served one afternoon for lunch and it's absolute crap on a cracker. That’s because your chef is very hungover at worst or still 3 sheets to the wind at best. I swear it’s a well-known medical fact, add the heat of the kitchen and pressure from Sudo French speaking asshole and Bazzinga!, the hangover is now magnified by ten. I have seen chefs dying (I wish they had and painfully) with hangovers shovelling out pure shit, food not even the Swedish Chef from the Muppets would be proud of. FACT, dear customer, it will happen over and over to you again and ain't going away. Unless of course you wanna tip extra, when you see REHAB NOT INCLUDED on your check!


So this week, I have been asked by the lovely twins (I still swear it’s the same person, split personality) to impart my culinary wisdom, for the $20 bucks they send each week. So as you will see I have created, Culinary Tips and Recipes for you to follow, not the ones from their website of course, they look divine.


My first tip is inspired by, let’s call it a chat with, a hipster, Gwyn